Dog Days

I don't believe any of the houses I grew up in had air conditioning.  A few of the apartment's I lived in during and after college had it, but I wasn't in those long enough for that to become the norm.
Admittedly, in Michigan where I grew up there are more cool nights than there is in a place like Tillman's Corner, Alabama, but summer's heat could still be oppressive with its evil friend humidity.  My parents always said the best thing to do was to put a fan in the window at night, either blowing cool air in, or warm air out overnight.  I always wanted the thing directly cooling me off.

We're in the midst of the dog days of summer.
dictionary.com defines the Dog Days as:
"The sultry part of the summer, supposed to occur during the period that Sirius, the Dog Star, rises at the same time as the sun: now often reckoned from July 3 to August 11."  Sultry...  Reckoned...
I've always been partial to the definition from the William Armstrong's Sounder, even if it is incorrect:
"the heat is so bad the dogs go mad"
I'm not sure if she's mad, but my dog clearly lets me know when the walk gets too long during the dog days.  She knows where the shady spots are along the road and what to do when she gets there.

This past week has had a brutal combination of heat and humidity.  Lows overnight were around 70.  And while highs were only around 90, humidity was almost tropical in nature with dew points above 70 degrees at time.  The hot and humid days can be ugly, but the nights can be near hateful - I'm reminded of the first few years after moving to Southern Ohio.  If my memory is correct, I moved into my house in February, with the huge opposing furnace heating and drying the air.  As that first winter transitioned to spring to summer, the area showed what we were in for.  The dog days of summer were unpleasant.  Getting home after work to a house that never felt like it dried out.  My parent's counsel to use fans in the windows was augmented by fans blowing over the bed.  The house sat in a holler, so humidity would often pool in the slightly cooler, lower air.  The effect was cooler soupy air was pushed around overnight only to be turned into hot soupy air during the day.  Overnight thunderstorms would bring a separate set of problems.
I tried to remain stoic about it, "I've never had air conditioning."
"Well, how was sleeping last night?" Janet asks, smugly.
I didn't admit it, but it was miserable.  At that time, I probably could have afforded a window air conditioner, but it would have been a stretch.  And I wasn't sure how much additional cost would come with actually using it.

Eventually, Bill gave me his old air conditioner as he got his central system fixed as preparation for selling his house.  This was an enormous window unit - thankfully the house had large windows.  It was loud and shaky and it seemed to want to give up overnight, but the slightly cooler and drier air it created in the evening allowed sleep to come less fitfully on most nights.  For some reason, paper wasps loved to make nests in that window air conditioner.
That free unit was eventually replaced with a far more efficient window air conditioner upstairs and a second larger unit downstairs.  I've always hated window air conditioners though.  No matter how well they are secured, much of the construction of modern units is plastic and they seem a desperately weak security risk.  In my case, the risk was probably minimal for the second floor, but despite doing what I could to secure it, the ground floor always made me nervous.  And since getting really good sealing around a window air conditioner isn't easy, I always assumed it was a convenient entry point for bugs as well as burglars.
At some point, discomfort and anxiety made getting central air conditioning a better solution.  Quite frankly, it didn't cost all that much and by getting a heat pump it helped with winter bills as well.  But as the house was well over 100 years old, with several retrofits from what was likely the original fireplace and coal furnace heating system, all cold air returns (that did anything) were on the first floor.  Some cooling reached the second story helped by a fan at the top of the stairs.  But a window unit was still needed upstairs might have been helpful on the worst days.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was only able to enjoy the central air conditioning for a couple years until I ended up moving.

I'd like to believe I'm not soft, but I'm quite sure returning to a lack of air conditioning would be painful.  Childhood tolerance is long gone.  Still, not only have I lived for most of my life without air conditioning, but people have for millennia.  If there was a drastic change in circumstances, I could try to resurrect the stoic tolerance of my ancestry.
As Mark Chesnutt sang in  1990:
"These old dog days of summer
Lord, I'll be glad when they're gone..."

MGB Collision Repair

The plan was to put the MGB in storage that week.  Sometimes stuff happens.
Late in 2016, SO was rear ended in her 1972 MGB on the way home from work.  We were glad that nobody was hurt and that the damage was relatively minor.  The offending vehicle was owned by some kind of community-oriented company and thankfully was insured.

A bit of history on the car.  The MGB was made in 03/1972 and was originally "Aqua" in color.  When I acquired the car in the mid-1990's, this would probably not have been my preferred color, but I have to admit that in original form, aqua is a pretty nice color for a chrome-bumpered MGB.

The car thumped around for who knows how far and was eventually in a front end collision with a tractor-trailer (or so I was told).  The car was bought by some kid who had grand dreams of turning it into a Cal-Ace replica show car.  His ambition far surpassed his abilities and he put the car up for sale at a price that was tolerable on a college budget for what the car was.
I purchased the car.  It wasn't a looker by any means, but getting it running, driving and stopping was relatively straight forward.  The only major frustration I recall on the mechanical front was the fuel pump intermittently went out at the worst possible times.  I ended up hurling it into the ditch on the side of the road when I finally relented and purchased a new pump.

With most of the mechanics sorted out, I set out to do the body work.  I clipped the front end of the car and replaced much of the structural and cosmetic metal on the car.  Some of this was done with new body panels and some was not.  The repair/restoration was done on a college budget, so things like the floors were done with straight sheet metal instead of preformed MGB floors - these could probably use replacing at some time again, 20-something years later.
SO wanted the car dark blue, so we had PPG Concept paint custom tinted.  This was relatively early in the use of consumer/professional refinishing in 2-part urethanes; enamel was quite 1987.  After ensuring the car was structurally in good shape and straitening everything out, the car really looked good.  The car's lines all turned out really well given how it started.

Much of the ancillary MGB parts were scavenged, pilloried, salvaged and reused.  But again, this was done on a college budget.  I was happy with the final result; more importantly SO was happy with the final result.

SO drove the car, only in the summer, for a few years.  Eventually we moved south after college and the car made the trip down as well.
A few years after moving south, we were on our way to store the car for the winter at a friend's house, when the wheels lost traction on a bridge coated with black ice.  I was driving behind in my Dodge Dakota and watched in horror.  Two corners of the car struck the guard rail.  We were still far more fortunate than an SUV which ended up tumbling down the nearby hill.  One of the police on the scene, while walking across the deathly slick bridge, was almost taken out by another car that subsequently lost control on the bridge.

The damage to the MGB was considerable, but mostly cosmetic.  Mostly...

As winter weather swirled, the insurance company sent an adjuster out to estimate the damage.  I'm not sure what the adjuster was smoking, but the estimate was probably appropriate for a Red Flyer wagon.  He allowed a few hours for body repair, zero for any panel replacement, and used parts that would be as easy to find as the Lost Dutchman's Gold.
I spent a few days arguing with the insurance company before taking the car out of storage and driving to a body shop near where the car was stored.  They gave a much more reasonable estimate...

Insurance check in hand, I spent much of that winter working on the car.  There was enough damage and a few other spiggles with the car that I wanted to fix that repainting the entire car was the best action to take.  Crumpled body sections were replaced with a few parts sourced from the friend who originally taught me body work - his son had been in a similar, but mirror image, accident.  Also, the paint codes for the custom paint were long gone, so matching exactly would prove difficult when nearly half the car would end up being painted.
That next spring, the car was back on the road and looking as good as ever.  That was 20 years ago, and the last time I've done body work.

Over the past two decades, the car has had many trouble-free years, along with a few where major work was done.  A clutch was done in 2007.  Engine work done in 2015 included rod bearings, an alloy cylinder head, a radiator and oil cooler.  There have been smaller repairs and ongoing maintenance, but overall, it has been a good, fun summer car for SO.
Which brings us to late 2016.
Carruunch!

The collision pushed the bumper into the rear of the car, mashing the bumper and damaging the rear of the car.  SO worked with the insurance company after the accident, and they had us take the car to a local shop for a certified estimate.  Unlike the last accident, this estimate was extremely thorough.  I don't really pay attention to current MGB prices, and don't know what the car could actually sell for, but it seemed like the estimate approached the car's value.  Still, as a 40 year old car, I may be off on this.
We quickly got an initial check for the damage as the car was put into storage for the winter - now in my garage.  The insurance company entered subrogation with the other driver's company and a second check for our deductible followed a few months later.
Now it was decision time and I saw five options.
1.  Do nothing, the car is a 20 year old inexpensive restoration that is showing its age.  Just drive it and live with the damage.
2.  Do a quick fix up and drive the car.
3.  Sell it on Ebay with no reserve, use that money plus the insurance checks and buy a nicer MGB.
4.  Have the shop that gave the estimate do the repair - reviews suggest they do really good work.
5.  Do it myself and live with the consequences.

I chose option 5 (possibly a combination of option 2 and 5).  I really thought hard about option 3, but that could be opening up a new can of worms.  Additionally, SO has been driving the car for 25ish years, so it seemed treasonous to get rid of it due to a relatively minor accident.  I also hate to risk the car getting scrapped or turned into a Cal-Ace by some kid who didn't know what he was doing.
I also seriously considered option 4, but I was not enamored with the other shop doing the mechanical work, and I've seen it too many times where even good body shops treat aged cars the same (or worse) as new ones and they come back with wonked-out clutches or new electrical gremlins as wires are inappropriately cut and spliced.
As noted, the last time I did body work was 20 years ago and it was on the same car.  This was to be an adventure!

That winter proved difficult.  Every day I would see the car sitting there and eventually I couldn't stand it.  Even in the cold, I removed much of the rear ancillaries to assess the damage.

Nothing looked too bad, but one rear bumper bracket was very rusted to the car.  Likely this was the first time this had ever been removed since 03/1972.

The other rear bumper bracket had at some point had a different threaded portion welded on.  These had to go.  I wasn't able to find used bumper brackets, but I was surprisingly able to locate a used rear bumper on CraigsList.  It wasn't a pristine new unit, but was a factory bumper in decent shape with some pitting - meaning it matched much of the other chrome on  the car.  The price was right and the bumper was straight, so I bought it and set it aside.

I originally thought that cutting out the rear panel was going to be the best way to fix it, but after getting into the actual damage, I decided to try to push out the damage first.  I rented a portapower from a local rental shop and spent a cold afternoon pushing out the damage.  This was a good option as I was able to push out most of the damage, despite the poor condition of the rented portapower and lack of appropriate accessories.

With much of the damage mostly straightened out, I bought the cheapest heat gun that Harbor Freight had and removed most of the paint from the rear of the car.  As it was still winter and doing body work in the cold is not fun, I painted the rear of the car in a quick coat of primer to protect it.  It looked better already!

With spring bringing warmer weather, I moved the car into the pole barn to work on it.  I didn't want to have all the dust and solvents needed for body work in the garage attached to the house.  I really do enjoy body work, and just about anything is fixable since it is always possible to sand off everything and start over.  The protective coat of primer was sanded off to start the actual body work.

As I opened the can of Rage Body Filler, the scent of it instantly transported me back, not 20 years, but 25 years.  It is amazing how evocative scents can be, and I fondly thought back to the time when I was wrenching as a mechanic all day, and then doing body work with one of my coworkers almost every night.  I'm not sure if I enjoyed that time then as much as I think I did now, but potentially rose colored glasses come with Bondo after a couple decades.
The first few afternoons spent doing body work went slowly.  I would put on a bunch of body filler, then sand 97% of it off and repeat.  Getting the larger issues sorted out was pretty easy, but as the issues got smaller, the time involved went up.  In my mind, I continually heard my friend who taught me body work say, "You have a low spot there..."

Eventually I was pretty happy with how the back panel looked.  It wasn't perfect, but the area had been repaired before and much of it is taken up by lights, fuel filler and license plate, so perfection wasn't imperative.

There was also a major issue with the front fender.  At my former house, the car had to sit outside all winter and during a blustery windstorm, a large branch had come down on the car.  This cracked the paint and created a very small dent.  With a flaw in such a noticeable spot, I felt this had to be repaired since I was already doing body work.  This is an area on the MGB that tends to rust out as there is a "shelf" under this spot which holds water and debris.

I chipped out old body filler and primer and spent some time sanding to get it down to bare metal.  Because this is a spot that often has issues, I knew how to repair it.  The sanding of the body work is best done with a towel wrapped around a small rod to get the radius right.  Varying pressure and towel thickness allows for quick repair of this spot.  The rest of the top of the fender was wet-sanded to accept new paint.

With major body work completed, it was on to primer.  Both previous paint jobs on the car were done with Mar-Hyde Ultimate Primer.  But I couldn't find this primer available in small quantities and online sales of it were surprisingly difficult - not to mention pricey.  After researching various options, I eventually settled on Custom Shop 2K Urethane Primer.  This should be pretty similar to the Mar-Hyde and sold for a reasonable cost.  Epoxy primer is far more common now, but the car currently had urethane primer and with doing only sectional repair, I didn't see much benefit to the increased corrosion resistance from the epoxy.

My paint gun hasn't been used in a very long time, so I cleaned it twice and tested it with solvents a few times.  I spent a lot of time prepping the car for spraying.  My barn doesn't have the ventilation of a spray booth, so I knew that overspray and overdust can get everywhere.  I spent a considerable amount of time just masking the car to allow primer and paint to be sprayed without worrying about where else they might go.

Spraying urethane primer is quite easy and I primed both the fender and the rear of the MGB.  I really liked the Custom Shop primer, it had great build qualities and sanded very nicely to a near-mirror like smoothness.  The first coat of primer took care of minor imperfections in the body work.

A second coat was prepped for paint spraying.

At this point in the project, my nerves started to act up - I obsessed over what paint to get.  I  obsessed over the fact that I haven't painted a car is so long.  I thought about every step 20 times before thinking about it some more.
I still had the paint label from 20 years ago, but I wasn't sure if PPG Concept was still exactly the same as it was then.  Also, the label had paint spilled on it and not all of it was still legible.
I went to a paint store that was supposed to be really good in a town about 40 miles away, hoping for good advice.  The kid who was working was quite new, and of very little help.  My plan was to leave the deck lid to have the paint matched, but I was told in no uncertain terms that they would not be responsible for any damage to it and they would likely need to "truck" it out for matching.  The kid also said that they had damaged body panels in the past.  I did not feel comfortable with this...

On to plan B, I went to a more local auto parts and refinishing store.  They guy there was much more knowledgeable.  And while not particularly personable (at all), he was helpful.  He said he could mix up PPG Concept for me, but that PPG Omni may be a better choice.  Omni is PPG's lesser brand, and given the limitations I was working under as well as that it wasn't a show car that was showing its age, I went with Omni.  Total cost with hardener and reducer was less than a third of the cost that Concept would have been.
The paint matched well to a mid-1980's Honda color that may or may not have ever been sold in the US.  The match came back as Honda Nelson Blue - Nelson it is!

With a weekend of warm temperatures and low humidity, I couldn't put spraying paint off anymore.  Conditions were as good as they would get.  I was somewhat apprehensive about this.  I wasn't the best paint sprayer 20 years ago, I was quite sure that I hadn't magically improved in that amount of time.
I thought about buying a new paint gun to replace my questionable Campbell Hausfield one.  But I couldn't justify spending top coin on an Iwata paint gun and I eventually decided that buying a gun that was only slightly better would be foolish.  I knew my Campbell Hausfield would end up wasting more paint through overspray and atomization, but with a full quart of paint, I was far from paint limited.  I retaped most of my edges to avoid any overspray or trapped paint runs.
And so spraying began.  As I hit the car with the first light tack coat of paint, it was catastrophically incompatible with one of my degreasers and balled up on contact with the car.  The paint went down as one big fish eye with a bit of paint between.  That first coat looked like greasy blue streaks.
OH (*^*%%$^&(*)_)_&&^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I unhooked my gun and soaked a clean towel in reducer.  I cleaned the sprayed panel, then recleaned a couple more times with reducer.  This felt like a waste of reducer, but I figured the paint HAD to be compatible with it.
Holding my breath, I restarted spraying.  This time the light tack coat went down well.  And stuck!
Following the advice of the guy who sold me the paint, I dutifully waited ample flash time before spraying successive heavier coats of paint.
Once finished, I unhooked my paint gun and left the barn.  I didn't want to look at it immediately.  Omni is a 2-part urethane paint catalyzed with isocyanate hardeners.  It is good stuff, but is also not good for health.  I wore a 3M respirator the whole time I was spraying and one of my neighbors saw me walking to the house still wearing it.  I'm sure they were wondering what I was up to this time.

With the paint starting to dry, I walked back into the garage to see how it went.  The results were ... mixed.
The rear of the car looked great.  Good coverage.  Good wet shine.  Very little orange peel.  There was one small flaw in the paint, but it would be covered by the license plate.

The front fender was terrible though.  I absolutely ran the snot out of the paint.  I ran it at the front, I ran it on the side.  To make things worse, where the repair had actually been done, there was insufficient coverage.  I'm not sure how I managed both runs and orange peel within the same area, but I did.  And mocking me was a bug that had gotten into the paint right on top of the fender.

The Omni tech sheet says it can be recoated after 24 hours, so I let the paint dry overnight.  With continued warm temperatures and dry conditions, the paint dried well enough to sand out.  Starting all the way back to 220 grit, I sanded out the entire fender, likely sanding off most of the new paint.  I set up my paint gun with higher fan pressure and lower paint volume to lessen the chance of running.  I knew I was setting myself up for more orange peel, but orange peel isn't too hard to get rid of as long as it isn't too ugly.

Painting number two went better.  I very carefully laid down a few coats, using the technique of laying it down in a thin layer, followed immediately by additional paint to keep it wet.  As before, I let the paint flash for several minutes and laid down a heavier coat.
I didn't see any runs this time, but the orange peel looked excessive at first.  The miracle of modern urethane paint took over and as the solvent evaporated, I could see the paint flatten before my eyes.

There was still some orange peel on the side, but this appeared to be imminently fixable.  Much later, I did notice a very small run near the headlight, but this was almost unnoticeable.  I was happy (enough).

The next day I removed all my masking.  I had a moment of panic when I saw a paint drop from the top of the fender into the headlight bucket.  Demonstrating the importance of surface preparation, I was able to easily peel the offending new paint up, with only a small amount stuck at the crease of the headlight.  Everything else looked good.

While the paint looked good, the risk was far from over.  I still had the blending to do.  Since there is no distinct panel on the rear of the car to stop painting, I had hard lines and a ridge between the old paint and the new.  I cut this ridge down as much as I dared with a razor blade.  This made me uncomfortable, but worked surprisingly well.
Then, a week later I blocked out the interface between the two paints, using a stir stick with 1500 grit sandpaper wrapped around it.  Once the ridge was nearly smooth, I did final smoothing with new sand paper without a stir-stick block, and I followed that up with 3000 grit sandpaper.  To bring back the gloss, I used 3M Perfect-It rubbing compound by hand.  Rubbing compound by hand isn't fun, but power buffers can get one into trouble on new paint.  Additionally, the tight space near the rear lights would not have been ideal for a buffer.
Once completed however, the transition between the existing paint and the new paint was quite good.  There is a slight difference in color and texture, but this will be very hard to notice once bumpers, lights and license is reinstalled.  All things considered, the Honda Neslon Blue Omni paint performed admirably.

With success on the rear of the car, I lightly sanded the orange peel on the front fender.  This was then followed by 3000 grit wet sanding and again, hand buffing with rubbing compound.  The end result was paint which looked good and matched the existing paint on the car as well as I had expected.
Things were looking up.

The boot of the car had gotten very rusty over the years, so I used rust converter to protect it, followed by priming and painting the inside.  I didn't want to remask the car so I just used a brush for this painting.  While vulgar, this seems perfectly acceptable for the inside of the boot.  In order to save my urethane paint in case any more spraying was needed in the short term, I bought a quart of enamel for the boot.  Enamel costs about half of the 2K urethanes and has a much longer shelf life.  I wouldn't ever paint the outside of a car with enamel, but inside a trunk is different.

After spending some time touching up some spots that had developed over the last 20 years, it was time to order the parts needed to begin putting the MGB back together.
Moss Motors is awesome, and I placed an order for what I needed.  Given all the work done so far, the order was surprisingly small.  Thankfully nothing was on back order, and it was delivered quickly.

Reassembly of the car was remarkably fast.  As I had disassembled the car, I had made sure to put each part away in a suitable state for putting it back together.  It only took part of one day to get everything put back together.  There was one hiccup, however.  My CraigsList bumper came with overriders, but one of them was actually a front overrider without the holes needed for the license plate lights.  I ended up "unbending" the original overrider and making that work.  It isn't perfect, but easily passes the 10-foot test.  If it ever bugs me in the future or if the chrome starts to come off, that is an easy thing to replace later.

Finally it was time to wash the MGB.  From all the body work and other stuff that goes on in the pole barn, it was absolutely filthy.  I pushed it outside and gave it a good long bath.  Unfortunately, this revealed some overspray had gotten underneath my masking.  Given all the tape, paper and masking I used, I'm a bit baffled by how this happened, but such is life.  Thankfully, a bit of hand rubbing with the Perfect-It rubbing compound took the haze right off.  A second quick wash and the car looks very good.

I'm quite happy with the area that was actually damaged by the accident.  While the seam between the old and new paint can be seen, it is as good as I had hoped given the differences in paint textures, colors and age.  The paint is nice and shiny to the point that it is hard to take pictures of.

This has been a fun, if at times exhausting exercise; it has taken over much of my spring and summer so far.  I was able to resurrect my body skills after 20 years enough to get the car to pass the 10/10 rule - it looks good from 10 feet at 10 miles per hour.  It isn't perfect, but it wasn't perfect before it was rear ended either.  All things considered, it looks good for a car that was restored 20 years ago on a serious budget.
I don't see myself going back into restoring cars, and I'm not happy about the accident last fall.  But the whole adventure through the last several months was not unpleasant.

Where did the repair net out cost wise?  Below is a partial accounting:
Heat Gun:  $13 (will probably find other uses for this)
Crappy Portapower Rental:  $16
CraigsList Bumper:  $100 (I think, and I probably slightly overpaid)
Rattle Can Primer:  $4
Rage Body Filler:  $27 (I probably didn't need the extra hardener)
Spreaders and spatulas:  $7
Custom Shop Urethane Primer and Reducer:  $65
Sandpaper:  $20 (I had some, and have a bunch left over)
PPG Omni Urethane Paint:  $70
PPG Omni Enamel Paint:  $32  (I probably could have gotten just a pint)
3M Perfect-It:  $17 (worth every penny)
Rust Converter:  $11
Other Solvents:  $30 (I have a bunch left)
Moss Motors Parts:  $130
Misc:  $??

For a grand total of somewhere just under $600.

The car is back on the road with enough summer to enjoy it for a bit.  It looks good (enough), easily passing the 10/10 rule.  Hopefully it lasts another 20 years without any major intervention.

Will Quitting My Job Give Me Sunburn?

It is Memorial Day Weekend.  The unofficial start of summer.  Societal summer, not meteorological summer.  There are a lot of people on vacation right now, which means it is a terrible time to go anywhere.
For me, summer starts when it gets warm and stops when it gets cold.  Anytime might be a good time to go anywhere.

With summer here, news stories keep reporting the statistic as fact that even one sunburn in childhood doubles the risk of skin cancer.  This might be true; I've yet to see this reported with any link to a credible study backing this up.  The other statistic I keep seeing is 5 sunburns through young adulthood increases skin cancer risk by up to 80%.  Again, this might be true and at least there are hints this comes from research, hopefully peer reviewed.  I should point out that both of these being absolute facts is mathematically impossible.  Both of these statistics keep referring back to a handful of dermatologists.  I'm sure they are brilliant practitioners.
Somewhere around 1996, SO went to a new dentist.  She came home with a list of treatments that were urgently required and with a cost that could have bankrupt us.  A few days later, a coworker was almost in tears wondering how she was going to pay for dental work required by her new dentist.  The required work was eerily familiar.  It was, predictably, the same dentist.  Neither SO nor Coworker got the imperatively needed dental work.  Both are fine.
In 2007, Dr. Stokes was sentenced to over 10 years in prison for scamming money through unneeded surgery as a dermatologist.  Legalities aside, not all doctors are ethical.  I actually think I might have known Stokes' kid at one time?  Probably not.  More than likely, I'm confusing names from a long time ago.

And if a statistic is reported often enough, it eventually becomes true.  72% of the population knows this.

Last year for a few weeks in August, the news repeatedly reported that flossing has no benefit.  Children everywhere rejoiced.  The news got it almost right; reporters often get things wrong.  A much more accurate reporting would be that studies looking at the effectiveness of flossing were not rigorous - so the benefit is not conclusive.  This doesn't make as clicky of a headline.  The AP, when dryly reporting, gets it right more often.  Flossing may still be either a critical health habit or a phenomenal waste of time.

I don't like gunk in my teeth - I will continue flossing.  Sunburn hurts - I will continue to wear sunscreen.

Work has been a bit slow this week.  This may be partially due to people's vacation.  It is sometimes astounding how various tasks spontaneously become less urgent during weeks common for vacation.  There are really only two big things going on and both of them are disorganized clusters.  Motivation is predictable.
Too often recently, I think I really want to sell everything - everything - and travel on the cheap for the rest of my life.  Maybe I really want to, or maybe I do like my stuff.  After a few frustrations this week, it seemed like it wouldn't have taken much...
Niue here I come.  I shouldn't have looked at flight costs online, I could get to Niue for around $1000(US).  One way.

If one sunburn doubles the risk of cancer and 5 sunburns increases the risk of cancer by 80%, what is this relative to?
I don't believe I've ever met anyone who hasn't had a good lobster boil sunburn at least a few times.  Sunburns were a rite of passage for 1980's summer Michigan.  SPF5 was seen as overly cautious while suntan oil took up copious shelf space in the drug stores.  The day after spending a sunny day on the shores of Lake Michigan ... skin so biting that wearing pants at work was excruciating ... peeling so bad a few days later that noses look like egg rolls and foreheads look like old onions...

"Boy, I'll tell you I'm the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth.  Sorry, we're closed." - Sam Malone, Cheers final scene

Summer's First Bounty

They spring up this time of year, seemingly overnight.  Zucchini, tomatoes, cucumbers, maybe some misshapen bell peppers.  Nope, I'm not talking about the garden.  I'm talking about produce at the office.
Every place I've worked at in my adult life has collection spots where food converges.  Often this is leftover food from meetings, with clear indications of what people do not like.  But this time of year, vegetables start to sprout up that were brought in from home.

Gardens start out with good intentions, but painfully don't meet even meager intentions.  More often, the most anticipated fare is coaxed into producing only a few delectable morsels while the general haul is filled with far too much of some other edible that begins to take on weed status, crowding all others out.

"Seed catalogs are responsible for more unfulfilled fantasies than Enron and Playboy combined." - Michael Perry

Someday nobody will remember what an Enron is and will have to read on Wikipedia to be reminded.
My 2011 garden was my last really ambitious one.  In what can only be described as exceedingly poor planning, I created that garden just outside of the reach of the closest garden hose.  I also started many of my plants in peat containers that I failed to heed the directions and rip the bottom off of when planting outside.  Between the subsequent poor root growth, questionable clay soil, difficulty watering, incessant invasion by weeds and rabbits, and my general laziness, that 2011 garden produced basically nothing.  A big garden seems like a good idea on those cool spring afternoons, but weeding takes on a hateful attitude in July's heat and humidity.  That 2011 location just out of reach of the garden hose has now been reenlisted to general lawn duty.  Not that the lawn is that much better than the garden, but it doesn't come with the same sense of acute failure every time I look at it.  I'm content with the chronic sense of failure that the lawn elicits.

More recently, the flower beds have been reenlisted for garden duty.  SO had the great idea to employ landscaping fabric and mulch, also using much sturdier garden stakes that can actually hold up to a tomato plant.  Regardless of one's belief in mixing flowers and produce plants, the beds look as good as they ever have.
Three of the four tomato plants are producing well.  The small sweet red cherry tomatos are great for drive-by eating.  The medium Cherokee Purples have grown to unexpected proportions.  The larger Cherokee Purples are overlaiden with green fruit - oddly warped in a way that only heirloom vegetables can be proud of.

I impulsively planted seeds taken from store-bought Kumatos.  Only one sprouted, and I discarded the rest only to see that dumping them may have been premature as new sprouts were evident a short time later.  Perhaps that was prescient; so far the Kumato plant has happily created copious flowers, but not a single fruit.  I am beginning to suspect that Syngenta has played some gene warfare game on Kumatos.  And I thought eugenics had been discarded in Europe?
In a fit of depression, the one lone pumpkin plant appears to have committed suicide.  Sad to see life cut so short when it had so much more to live for.

Someone's garden cucumbers showed up at work last week.  I've never understood why "burpless" cucumbers were marketed until I ate one of those gratis cucumbers over the next few days.  Yes it was tasty ... the first time.  Since they sell burpless varieties, I'm now searching for where the burps go.  There must be a cucumber variety sold as super burpy - there is a market, however niche, for everything!

I have contemplated in the past bringing a durian in to work and placing it at the food location.  It would be interesting to see the reaction of those who know what it is, as they recoil in horror and wonder where it came from, compared to those who have never been exposed to it and wonder what to do with it.  Cutting into it at work may result in new rules for office-appropriate food.

Summer will soon give way to fall and more overripe vegetables that seem to whither and rot within the time span of a work day.  November 1 will eventually arrive, when leftover Halloween candy pushes away anything healthy and green in the office food spot.  The candy disappears quickly.  Except those few hard candies with partially open wrappers or broken lemon suckers, which seem to linger until they are mercifully discarded.

Orion Rising

We're starting to see the first few tastes of fall.  Daylight is noticeably shortened relative to the summer solstice in June; daylight is predictable, and while temperature is not, the hysteresis in average temperature means we're well past even the typical highs in late July.  Average highs in late August are still solidly in the 80's and the humidity can be oppressive, but there have been a few early suggestions of the impending equinox weather.

I rode the bicycle a few days ago on a morning ride to a town about 20 miles away.  Leaving at the first sliver of the sun, the morning was almost cold, with fog clinging to the fields of soybeans.  A few fields showed touches of yellow leaves already forming in the otherwise dark green sea.  The bike ride, especially the first half, was stunning.  A recent article tries to paint this area of the country negatively, but I'll take the rolling rural agricultural landscape over many of the highly (over)rated and overpopulated areas.  The article propagates the myth of flyover country in graphic form.  Which is fine.  Those in New Jersey and Manhattan are welcome to stay in their natural environment.

Another year is continuing on its relentless march towards its end.

Last year's hunting was better than average with a bear, a deer and a wild boar making it into the freezer.
The bear was very large and there is still some left.  His fat didn't freeze too well, so most of what is left will be carefully trimmed and used for strong dishes like spicy stir fry or with red beans and rice.  Deer seems to last forever.  Most of my 2014 deer was ground into burger and while some slander ground venison with domestic fat, I almost always leave it native.

My early-year 2015 wild boar is now gone.  He was about average size, maybe 150 pounds.  Of all the game meat I've eaten, the wild hog has to be my favorite.  Most of the animal is very lean, making it slightly-less guilty pork.  A wild hog has most of his fat concentrated around the rib cage.  This makes the ribs difficult to cook and eat, but tasty.  It also makes them very messy.  The wild ribs were finished off much earlier in the year.

After the ribs are eagerly finished, the backstraps are finished, followed by the rest of the meat - either through steaks of varying toughness or ground wild pig.  My final wild boar meat was grilled after marinating with olive oil, pepper and ranch spices.

It is a little sad to see the wild game meat begin to be depleted, but it is better then waiting too long for it.
And after eating almost exclusively wild game for many months, the move to domesticated meats is actually a nice change, if a bit less mentally gratifying.  Regardless of origin, fall-off-the-bone ribs, cooked to perfection and finished on a smokey grill are extraordinary.

The constellation Orion is making an early morning appearance to the east just before sunrise.  Soon enough, meat from the deer and bear will be gone.  I find myself looking forward more than most years to the change in season but not for any particular reason.  Or maybe after a summer of days that passed with monotonous similarity, any change is going to be welcome.