The Politics of the Office Gift Exchange

Several years ago there was there was a Christmas white elephant gift exchange in the department I was working in at the time.  I had a spare copy of Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs and thought about using that.  I didn't but wish I would have.
"Tasteful, useable(sic) gifts please." 

I've never worked anywhere that had a secret santa gift exchange, and I'm very glad about that.  I would probably opt to not participate in that.  The pitfalls associated with secret Santas are just too awful to contemplate.
But opting out of office social theatrics can be just as dangerous as participation.  A dentist visit may be wiser.  Or quitting.

Most places I've worked, outside of the ones that do thankfully nothing, have a white elephant gift exchange.  These can be humorous as various rules during the actual exchange mean highly desirable gifts are exchanged and sought after.  Sometimes what is sought after is inexplicable.

Where I currently work, the suggestion is for something between $5 and $10.  Several political phenomena can be observed:

• The bottle of wine - everybody wants it, if only to dull the pain.  But nobody can look too much like they want it, lest they be labeled the office lush.
• The regift - I recall an amaryllis given one year where, on opening the box, the recipient pulled out a plant that had sprouted and grown in complete darkness.  Living its whole life without light, it looked like a cave fish - giving away the fact that it was a year old.
• The big spender - the gift obviously over the suggested amount, where the giver doesn't want to be revealed but really does want to be known.
• The cheap spender - post-it notes and office pens.  Is that theft?
• The last minuter - something ... anything from the gas station on the way into the office in the morning.
• The home made present - often thoughtful, but almost too personal for work.  And the last thing most of us need is more stuff to sit on a shelf.

This year I gave Duke's Original Recipe Smoked Sausage.  Smack dap in the middle of the price range at just over $7.  As food, it isn't something that will have to stick around too long.  My only hope was that the office vegan would somehow end up with it.  The horror.  The horror.  Never get out of the boat.

"Never apologize.  Never explain." - Hunter S Thompson

The most sought after items were a couple bottles of wine that must have been determined to be better than average.  The Big Spender's large box of craft beers were also sought after with vigor.

I ended up with two utility lighters.  These have some usefulness, but I already have two of them.  I may now have a lifetime supply of them - although the igniters typically give out long before the butane is exhausted.

As it turned out, the Big Spender opened the package of sausages.  The face she made was not very pleasant.  I didn't follow the movement to know if she ended up with it or not.

The highest level manager at the soiree announced his intention to leave his gift as "tip for the wait staff."  I contemplated how that may be perceived by the person who brought that one in.
I suppose the politics follow the receiver as well as the giver.