A Beagle Named Soda

"How old is she?"
That is what I almost always heard when people learned that Soda was 18.  Life expectancy of a beagle is on the order of 12 to 15 years.  To say Soda had a good dog's life at almost 19 would be an understatement.

I got Soda in April of 1999.  Mandy had recently died and that caused a hole that just needed to be filled.  I knew it was irrational, but I was hoping for the pyrite to be gold and the dog I got after Mandy would be just like her.
I was at one of the local Pet's Plus (or some other similar store) and a nearby county was holding a dog adoption event.  In the mix of dogs was a lanky female beagle.  She had a somewhat diminutive personality and was almost shy.  She went home along with a free bag of dog food.
I think she came with the name of Sprocket, but it was changed on the way home to Soda.  The origins of this name are from Seinfeld, where George Costanza suggested the name of Soda to another character on the show for her child.  It seemed to fit well for a dog (plus I really liked the show Seinfeld).
Soda was clearly in a state of stress.  She had very little fur, with a few nearly bald patches on her side and belly.  The fur she did have was very short and bristly.  It was obvious that things were not exactly sweetness for her.  She also had a funny pink spot on her nose.  Over her life her hair became soft and normal, but the pink nose remained as a testament to her early years.

Once at home, the shy diminutive dog evaporated and Soda became a bundle of unlimited energy.  This energy was not channeled in a good direction.  She was absolutely ballistic!
She would race around the back yard barking at nothing and everything.  While the yard was very large and fenced in, almost no fence could hold her.  She found every nook and and tiny break in the fence, managing to squeeze out of holes a fraction of her size.
When all the small holes were finally sealed, Soda learned that if she pushed hard enough, she was able to get under the fence.
When she did get out, she was impossible to catch.  She would run through icy creeks, bawling her fool head off.  She was completely oblivious to anything, sometimes running right past me at top speed, only caring about the mythical thing she was chasing, probably the long-gone scent of some small animal.

After the bottom of the fence was secured at significant expense with landscaping timbers, Soda learned to be able to jump over the fence.  She figured out that with just the right jump, she could get her "armpits" on the top of the fence, and then use her back legs to flop over.  I'm convinced that this had to hurt, but the pain was worth it to her to get to the "greener grass" on the other side.
Sometimes the other dogs would follow along on her criminal advetures.  Often, Sammy, Dixie and Lucky would just stand at the fence and watch her leave.  This was often a good signal to look for where Soda got out and the direction she had gone in.

Soda spent a lot of time inside the fenced in yard and tied up to a chain.  This was often the only way to keep her from running to some distant goal that was incredibly important to her.  She really did not like this though.

With Soda's maniacal focus on anything real or imagined, she was the only dog I had where I understood how somewhat got rid of her.  She shredded the bark on threes trying to climb them if she thought there were squirrels in them.  She dug countless holes trying to catch moles.  She tore down baby paw paw trees; I'm not sure why?
But, I'm not exactly sure why she did many of the things she did.  At times, I know I lost my temper with her.  This never seemed to phase her much though - perhaps that is a lesson for me.

Still, Soda did have her moments.  She was a beagle who absolutely loved being outdoors.  Rain, snow, sleet, heat - it didn't matter.  Soda liked being out in her back yard.  I guess in that way, we were a lot alike.
She was actually able to catch and kill a huge rabbit in the back yard once; the only one of my dogs where I've seen this.
Like all of my beagles, Soda was good at power-napping and could go from light-speed to sleep quickly.

As Soda got older, she did begin to mellow.  Sitting inside would become more than tolerable.  The back yard was interesting enough that only rarely did she feel the need to escape the fence or destroy a tree.

For the last few years at the old house and the first few in the current house, she really was a pretty good dog.

As an old, aloof beagle, Soda did have friends who adored her.  The vet loved her and the last time she was kenneled during a vacation, she was given free run of the place anytime the person cleaning the kennels was back there.

Like all of us, she did start to age.  She began to have small accidents in the house.  These would mostly happen while she was sleeping so we had to put a dog towel underneath her for a while, wherever she sat.  A prescription of Proin did wonders and stopped this for a while.  However, she was also diagnosed at the same time with the beginnings of kidney failure.

Soda was put on special food for her kidneys, since minimizing phosphorus and some proteins can help.  This made a difference for a while and I'm sure it prolonged her life, but she hated it.  Just about every renal dog food available was tried.  Soda would tolerate some longer than others.  Iams Renal Plus was the one that she hated the least.  Often, gravy, or canned renal dog food was needed to coax her to eat.

I'm not in favor of crating dogs, but eventually soda needed to be locked up when left alone in the house during work, etc.  The daily moppings and/or washing of the small boot rug by the door was too much.  A wire crate with a puppy pee pad became her daily resting spot.
What is amazing about most dogs and Soda in particular is how plastic they are.  I'm sure the crate was a big change for her and I know she didn't like it, but she very quickly accepted it as the new normal.  A few times she would even voluntarily walk into the cage.

At 17, I figured her days were numbered, but she soldiered on for another year.  At 18, I wondered if I should renew her dog tags, but I owed her at least that much.

A few weeks ago, it became obvious that the end was probably near.  Eating was becoming more intermittent and she was already very skinny.  She still loved being outside though.  I was really hoping she would go quietly and naturally, but that wasn't the case.  Coming home from work, she really couldn't even walk and it appeared she might be having small seizures.
I called the vet to make her last appointment, and had an incredibly hard time maintaining my composure on the phone.

The vet had a nice room set up to be able to say goodbye in a non-hospital like manner.  Soda's heart was so weak that an IV wasn't possible, but our vet helped her let go peacefully.  It was the second time I had to put one of my dogs down, and it was just as hard as the first time; it was also the right thing to do.

No, Soda wasn't my favorite dog, but that long, gangly, independent dog had been running around the house for nearly 17 years.  Even though there are still two beagles, the house didn't feel the same without her.
In a last act of Soda-ism, she died during a winter cold snap.  The vet offered to keep her until spring, but after buying a pick-ax and a stronger shovel I was able to chisel through half a foot of frozen ground and reach thawed earth to dig a spot for her burial.  This was not fun, but I was incredibly grateful that I could do this as I didn't want to open that raw wound and bury her in the spring.  Sometime around the anniversary of when I originally got Soda, a tree will be planted over her.
And I'm sure, given most of her life spent running after anything and everything, that tree will attract more squirrels than any other in the yard.

2009 Toyota Tacoma Brakes and Manual Transmission Oil Change: Maintenance = Improvement

A few months ago I had a road trip totaling around 2500 miles.  I did an oil change on my 2009 Toyota Tacoma prior to making the trip and as part of every oil change, I inspect lots of other things; the front brakes were in need of attention.  There was still adequate pad left, but not much more than adequate.  This plus the scoring on the back sides of the rotors told me a front brake job was imminent.
I took the road trip before doing anything with the brakes and everything went without incident - like I mentioned, there was still adequate pad left.  But, with winter approaching and another road trip coming up (this one only about 1200 miles) I didn't want to wait any further on the front brakes.
I did quite a bit of research on brake options.  I've really given up on turning rotors.  This used to be the only realistic option, but I'm pretty convinced that turning results in a much shorter service life to rotors.  Besides, new rotors are not too expensive given how long brakes actually last.  Note that this applies to "hat-type" rotors.  With captured rotors, turning rotors on the car probably makes more sense, my loathing of captured rotors aside.
I decided on using PowerStop brakes.  Overall reviews were pretty good and having a quality rotor matched to pads makes sense.  Their good/better/best approach to selling brakes products leaves options and I went with their Autospecialty OE brake kit.  The 4-cylinder Tacoma is a fairly light truck and my driving style is (usually) moderately conservative.  It seemed a little silly to use a higher performance brake kit with the very anemic 4-cylinder engine.   Drilled and slotted brake rotors help them cool faster which minimizes fade, but for daily driving there isn't much advantage.  I liked that they came with ceramic pads.  Note this is a generic picture since obviously the 4x4 Tacoma is a 6-lug wheel.  I forgot to take a pic of the actual rotors and pads.  In hindsight, I should have done a write-up on the entire procedure.

Changing the brakes was relatively easy.  With past vehicles, I've had issues with rotors rusting to the hub, but this time the rotors popped right off.  The biggest difficulty I encountered was the caliper bolts were somewhat corroded into place.  It either took my biggest breaker bar or a lot of work from the air impact gun to get them off.  Hopefully the antiseize I used during reassembly will help alleviate this for any future brake job.

After completing the brake job and changing the oil, I followed the PowerStop recommendation for Break-In Procedure.  It felt a little stupid driving down the road aggressively hitting the brakes and accelerating, but luckily I live in a very rural area so this was easy to do.  On the way home, I returned to normal driving.

What a phenomenal difference in braking!!!!!  I try to avoid superlatives in life, but the difference in braking performance was almost unbelievable.  I'm sure some of the change was due to the old brakes deterioration, but the the PowerStop brakes felt phenomenal and the stopping was much more positive.  Time will tell whether these brakes hold up, but as of now I am very glad I went with these brakes.  

I've previously complained about my Tacoma, including the feel of the brakes.  I'm not sure why Toyota can't do this from the factory.  But, I must be honest in that as much as I've found faults with it, this really has been a good vehicle - with nearly 85,000 miles on the clock now.  It is somewhat frustrating that there are many things that for only a small amount invested could have been much better off the showroom floor.  The Toyota Tacoma was definitely made to a price point (I guess all vehicles that mere mortals can afford to buy are).

With a big improvement to the braking, I decided to investigate the "notchy" shifting of the R155F manual transmission.  It feels and works very well when warm, but when it is cold outside, shifting from first to second takes considerable effort and sometimes grunts a little when going into second.  If the outside temperature is below zero, it can get even worse.

Research into this suggested the fluid used in the manual transmission can affect shifting performance.  I thought this was very suspect.  The Vehicle Owners Manual states that 75W-90 GL-4 or GL-5 is suitable for the manual transmission.  As long as the fluid meets these requirements, I would have surmised that the actual fluid used would only make a minimal difference with different fluids mostly differing in service life.

After reading about differences between gear oils online including this very informative article, I decided that it was a cheap enough experiment to try a GL-4 gear oil in place of the Amsoil SevereGear GL-5 I currently had in the transmission.

There were lots of recommendations for Amsoil GL-4 MTG.

There were probably an equal number of recommendations for Redline MT-90

I'm a member of the Amsoil Preferred Customer program.  I like being able to order my oil online without having to worry if it will be in stock at my local store and it almost always shows up within two days, delivered right in front of my garage door.  I'm not so sure about the way they sell their products (we don't use the word pyramid), but I trust their lubricants.  I'm sure Redline is also good, but it is a little harder to come by and ends up being more expensive.  So, I went with Amsoil MTG.

Now, the difference here is not as noticeable as the improvement I saw with brakes, but moving from the GL-5 gear oil to the GL-4 in the R155F manual transmission made a noticeable difference.  No, shifting still doesn't satisfyingly "snick" into gear like it should be, but much of the cold weather issues are diminished.

The service schedule for the Tacoma calls for manual transmission fluid change at 30,000 mile intervals so it will be a while until I change it again, but I may try Redline MT-90 at the next one.  I have to admit that in this case the gear oil I chose did make a difference so it is a reasonable experiment to try.  

The recent cold weather has given me time to start wondering about new vehicles.  I have no immediate plans to buy anything, but if a meteor comes out of the sky tomorrow and lands on my truck in the parking lot at work I probably should have an idea of what I might want as a replacement.

Unfortunately, there is nothing out there I find terribly interesting.

What I really want is small, 4wd open-bedded pickup that gets good gas miles, and has reasonable performance.  The Tacoma is actually bigger than I want.  Preview pictures of the 2016 Tacoma show that it might even be growing a bit in the future.  I guess details will be unveiled soon enough?

I don't think either the Tacoma or the recently introduced Chevy Colorado/GMC Canyon should be called small.  Even midsize is a misnomer.  How about calling them almost full sized in both scale and price with the same somewhat disappointing fuel economy?

Ford made a lot of waves with the new 2015 F-150 and it all-aluminum body.  I would be tempted to go in this direction, especially since I have a relative that works at Ford and can use his discount.  But, I really don't want anything this big and the fuel economy of the aluminum truck is realistically only marginally better.  An extended cab four wheel drive F-150 with Ecoboost engine gets around 18 city, 23 highway miles per gallon.  With all the hype, I was hoping for better.

I'm almost embarrassed to say it, but the vehicle I do find interesting is the 2015 Jeep Renegade.  It is frankly about the size that I would want.  I suspect fuel economy will be near 30mpg on the highway (at least I hope).  Without an open bed, I'm not sure where I might throw a dead deer should I be successful in upcoming deer hunting seasons?  Sadly, the availability of information from Jeep, not to mention the vehicle itself seems to be very delayed.  I wonder if anything should be read into this?

There are also rumors that the Fiat Strada might be coming to the US, likely as a Ram, less likely as a Jeep.  This is already sold in Mexico as a Ram.  Yeah, it is ugly, but it would fill a void not available in the US market.  Then again, maybe it isn't ugly?

What I don't understand is that there is definitely an unmet need for a small truck in the US.  There are numerous models available worldwide (another being the VW Saveiro), but no move in that direction here.  It almost seems that auto manufacturers are all staring at each other on this one and waiting for someone to blink... 

Well blink already!  And, damn the Chicken Tax!

But, all this talk about new vehicles is somewhat academic.  With the braking much improved on my current Toyota and shifting at least noticeably better, it almost seems like my Taco has been given a new lease on life in my garage...er pole barn.  At least this may give time for the suits to finally discover that people in the US will buy a small truck.

Hello 2015, But Lets Hold Off on the Resolutions Until Later

Goodbye 2014 and Hello 2015

It is tempting to be upbeat and suggest that 2015 will be better than 2014, that we'll all lose weight, make more money, read more books and make better friends.
More than likely, 2015 will be about the same as 2014 and potentially worse.  This is not something that is completely outside of anyone's control though.

There is a tendency to make "New Years Resolutions" on this day.  The changing of the calendar is an arbitrary time point, and probably not the best one to try to make big changes.
For some, this marks the end of the "holiday season" and just getting back to normal can be painful enough.  Meteorological winter has just started, but real winter is already going in full swing.  Now is the time when there is a justified tendency to sit back indoors, watch more TV, eat more food which may be less healthy, see more movies, etc.  I will argue, this is the worst time to try to make life changes in the form of New Years Resolutions, or any resolutions.
No time is a bad one to eat less potato chips or eat less marshmallows; one of the realities about life changes though is that it is too easy ensure failure by making changes that will be detested while changing too much at one time.

Winter is about death.  All the trees look dead, the lawn looks dead.  More wildlife dies in the winter because it is harder on animals than most people know.  Even many animals that hibernate will not return.
Spring is probably the best time to make resolutions in the form of anything beyond trivial changes.  Things come back to life in the spring.  The spring weather brings more excuses and opportunities to be outside.  The grey winter begins to change into warmer weather.  Spring comes with longer more frequent dog walks and (pedal) bike rides.  Spring is time to start riding motorcycles and thinking about vacations, about motorcycle touring.

I am ready to detox after the food fest that has been going on for the last several weeks.  But, I think I'll save the bigger changes for later.
Spring is the right time to make changes.  I'm going to put a Google Keep reminder in for Easter Resolutions.

A Return to Bicycling

I've been able to bicycle more than I would have expected this month.  But, let me back up a little bit.  As a dedicated motorcyclist who has toured in all 49 states that are accessible by land, is "bicycle" a typo?

This actually starts with my dogs.  One of the most important times of my day is my daily dog walk.  My current dogs are aged 10, 14 and 18.  The two "younger" dogs are still quite healthy, but on many days, even the 10-year-old can't go on the longer walks I like to take, especially in the heat of the late summer.
I was looking at something to augment my dog walking.  Running sucks; ever since I was a kid I have a knee which is sometimes unpleasant.  And, I've never seen a jogger smiling.  My dog walks are as much about mental health as physical health.
Walking without a dog would be pointless and creepy.  As I've said before, a fat ugly old man walking a dog down a rural road is quaint.  A fat ugly old man walking alone down a rural road is a vagrant.
Indoor exercise such as a treadmill or a gym membership?  I'd rather let lethargy kill me quickly.

The options were limited and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to start to ride a bike.  I had a cheap bike that I used just a handful of times when I was in college - I estimate I rode it less then 10 times.  It was given away when I moved after college.  Before that, the last bike I had was a Schwinn 10-speed that was too small I rode until I turned 15 and bought a Yamaha Chappy and licensed it as a moped (it was technically my first motorcycle since it had a 90cc engine).

I looked at bicycles for quite some time.  To say I was shocked at the price of bicycles would be an understatement.  Used bikes could be bought fairly cheaply, but I wasn't sure if going that route would result in my buying someone else's problem.  I also realized there was quite a bit I didn't know about bikes and buying new would allow me to understand what I was getting better.  Not to mention, that amortized over the life of a bike, the difference in price between new and used becomes smaller.
I turned to bike reviews and online blogs for more information.  What quickly became apparent was that as with many other activities that have a religious-like zeal of devotion, bicycling has some very opinionated jack-asses out there.  Among some of the wisdom entombed online:

• Any bike less than $xxx is absolute trash.
• Any bike brand besides xxx is absolute trash.
• Most bikes are good, but xxx is absolute trash.
• Only real bicyclists need to buy xxx, the rest of the trash can buy any trash.

Compared to other activities I enjoy, the bicycling community is a very unwelcoming.  I was really on my own.

After reading what objective information I could find, I decided buying a decent brand bike was probably a good idea.  I know myself well enough that small things that don't work right can end up being utterly maddening.  I can recall on my previous two bikes how frustrating shifters and brakes that didn't work well were.  

Still not sure I wanted to take the plunge and feeling like a neophyte, I went to a small local bike shop.  The owner was extremely helpful, but recognized my hesitance.  Surprisingly, he gave me brand new Trek Shift bike to try for a weekend, this allowed me a low impact way to see if bicycling might be a good choice in general for me.  Since I didn't want to spend a lot of money, this was also one of the bikes I was thinking about.

Taking the bike home in the back of my truck, I rode a bicycle for the first time in about 20 years.

After a few minutes, I WAS HOOKED!  Why had no one told me how fun bike riding was?

My first ride was quite short since it was later in the day.  My next ride was long enough that it hurt to walk when I got home, especially down stairs.  Take it easy grasshopper...

A few more rides that weekend convinced me that biking was going to be the right choice to go along with my dog walks.  It also convinced me that while the Trek Shift 1 was a capable bike, spending a bit more and getting a bit more was also worth it.

I really did not like the twist shifters on the grip.  The seven speeds on the bike were adequate, but going down hill, I wanted a taller gear, and up steeper hills there were limited choices other than the lowest gear, which was sometimes too low.

Talking with a few acquaintances I work with who ride was of limited, but some help.  My sister who lives in a very distant state rides very often and has even raced competitively for a time.  Her advice:

• Get a bike with good derailleurs or you'll go insane.
• If you might ever go off-road (mountain biking), get a front shock and disk brakes.  Wheel rim brakes don't work very well when wet or dirty.
• If you are only going to ride on the road, a hybrid will be outgrown quickly.
• Specialized makes great seats.

I was looking at three makes of bikes at this point:  Trek, Specialized and Cannondale.

I looked into Specialized and despite the advice of my sister, I ended up not going that route since the only nearby place that sold them seemed more interested in selling me what they had on the floor, not what I really wanted.  They were somewhat condescending and unhelpful to a neophyte. 

I can't say I looked closely at Cannondale since there wasn't much close by to look at.

Feeling somewhat loyal to the shop that gave me the loaner, I chose to go with Trek.  The lineup of bikes form both Specialized and Trek and really very comparable with respect to features and price.  Having the nearby Trek dealer as opposed to the much farther away and condescending Specialized dealer was a huge plus as well in case anything went wrong.  If the situation was reversed, I could have just as easily gone with Specialized.

This left me with what model to choose.  After comparing features of the bikes, I had it narrowed down to the Trek DS 8.3, FX 7.2 Disc and Verve 3.  I'm not following my sisters advice in a hybrid bike, but I wasn't sure if I would be doing any non-road biking and because my back sometimes give me issues; I thought the flatter handlebar would be better than the boy-racer bars on most of the dedicated street bikes.  Besides, many of the roads around the area I live in, especially in Indiana are paved in name only and often resemble rubble with inconsistent patches of asphalt.  All three of these bikes are similar in price, and with only subtle variation in features.  The DS 8.3 has a lot going for it and was the model I eventually chose.  My first ride was home from the Trek dealer; the person who helped me finalize the sale on the bike once assembled looked at me like this was odd (this seems a most logical way to get it home given that it is only about 15 miles).

Since buying the bike, I've been riding quite a bit.  Before the weather started to turn unpleasant I was alternating walking the dog and riding the bike.  I had a hiatus in mid-November due to deer hunting and an atypical November snow and cold weather that stuck around for quite some time.  

I find bike riding a good complement to dog walking.  Dog walking is great for quiet contemplative moments, great thinking time and the dog loves it.  Biking has more going on both physically and mentally.

Weather between Thanksgiving and Christmas had several nice days where I was able to ride more than I expected.  I've found I can ride quite comfortably above temperatures in the low to mid 40s as long as it isn't too windy, and down to the upper 30s if it is somewhat sunny with little wind.  I will probably make an investment in better dedicated clothes at some point in the future, but I can't say a lot of spandex will be in my future - nobody wants to see that.

Other things I've learned since returning to biking:

• I enjoy this much more than I thought I would.
• Going downhill is boring.  Uphill can hurt, but there is a sense of triumph getting to the top - especially if I don't have to resort to granny gear.
• Wind has a much greater effect than I thought it would.  I try to plan my routes with the wind at my back for the return half of my bike rides.
• Most cars are fairly courteous, but a small percentage are out to kill.
• Most dogs are fairly innocuous, but a small percentage are out to kill.
• Google's My Tracks is a great alternative to a dedicated bike "computer" and is free.  I've been using this to keep track of my rides and overall mileage on the bike (it is a bit of a battery hog).
• Riding my bike has allowed me to see areas in and around my township that I've never seen before.  Drawing a 20 mile radius circle around my house, the options for where I can go feel almost unlimited (but I'm already starting to see some roads as favorites).
• Mapometer is a great and simple site to plan rides of appropriate length.  The ability to see altitude is a great feature.

I'm not sure where bike riding will go long term.  I have yet to ride on a day that is 90 degrees F and 90% humidity, but that is a ways off.  I'd love to explore touring by bike, but that is not something to go into lightly.  

For now, I'm really glad the owner of the small local bike shop gave me that Trek Shift 1 to try.  I'm disappointed the biking community seems so closed to new riders.  I'll be doing my best to wear out my Trek DS 8.3 and am looking forward to more consistently good weather next year.

The Best Christmas Gift

Christmas Day, 2014.
I got the best gift ever this year:  Nothing.
No, I wasn't bad (maybe I was).
No, I'm not destitute (maybe I could become so).
Nothing is the best gift because I don't need anything.

I guess there are things I might think I want.  But if they were things I realistically could use, I likely would have bought them already.  I might sometimes say I want a Ferrari or 150 acres of perfect prime hunting land, but those come with other significant expenses built in (maintenance, and taxes and insurance).  Those things are also fantasy, and real life is always more interesting than fantasy.
More stuff tends to clutter life, not improve it.

It is actually kind of hard to think back and remember any specific Christmas; It is a bit surprising that I can't think of anything terribly memorable even about Christmas 2013.
I can remember minor events of past Christmases and even sometimes put those pieces together with the actual year.  Mostly this has to do with what else might have been going on around the same time.

The weather this year has been more typical of late December weather.  Cold rain, resulting in ice and mud.  I'm sure snow is coming, but there is no magic in a white Christmas.  Christmas morning came first at around 2:00 AM.  Thankfully, I was able to sleep a few more hours before getting up, reading for a bit and going on a long, if slightly damp dog walk.
Which, is about as good as Christmas gets.

So maybe a dog walk is something, or maybe it is nothing.
But, nothing equals contentment, which might really be the best present.

Why does everything have to be so awkward?

A concept that I've been pondering for years now is the "End of History Illusion."  Briefly, this postulates that as we look back on our lives, we can see changes that have taken place.  Changes in likes and dislikes.  Changes in interests.  Even some changes in values.  But as we look forward, we assume we've had the last laugh and things won't change much personally in the future.

This past summer, I went up to the area where I used to live, a short overnight trip of a few hundred miles.  I wanted to see some family I hadn't seen in a while and the automotive shop I used to work at was having its annual summer party.  The summer party used to be a big event, drawing hundreds of cars from all over.  Things have quieted down since then and there were maybe just over a hundred cars (actual estimates vary).  I ran into a few people I used to work with.  These are people that not only did I work with, but was also fairly good friends with.  Having not seen these people in a few years, in theory we should have had tons to talk about.  The reality was much different.  The conversations were somewhat forced, the pauses awkward and longer than they should have been; at times we seemed to be mutually searching for the continuation of the topic or what to say next.
There is definitely a difference in where we are in our lives, but I was still surprised by how awkward the conversations were.  One possible difference was the lack of the social lubrication of alcohol.  No doubt with enough beers, we could have rehashed the same old stories.  But, that would be fake.
It is unexpected at this stage to look back on time spent in youth as an uncomfortable teenager and seeing adults who seemingly had it all together, only to get older and see that having it together is a sham.  I'm convinced we are all faking it.  Every day.
It is too natural to expect things to remain frozen in time when we aren't there to see the evolving changes.  I've seen changes in various houses I used to live in and it almost seems like a personal violation.

The extension of this is work "parties" (and I use that term loosely since a party implies fun) and work "happy hours."  These are also forced events.  I hate talking work outside of work so I am quickly repelled by those conversations.  However there are only a few other people at work that I have many similar interests with or I talk much about my outside-work life.  Thus, work "happy hours" become time spent listening to the Gen Y crowd talk ad nausea about how interesting the minutia of their life is.  Work happy hours should be renamed, "hours" since they aren't terribly happy.  There are things I'd rather be doing that more closely approximate happiness.  I'm reaching a point where I, without apology, rarely attend work functions outside of work hours.  And only attend the work functions within work hours if there is some reason I find personally compelling.  Career implications be damned.

I'm not sure if I look back 10 years if I'd say there were big changes in the things I like.  There are a couple big changes I have made that affect what I do and do not do.  Most of the personal life changes have been more refinements, focusing on what I find important and parking everything else in the column of interests.  I find that to be an enviable place as I see others rushing off to regret.

I'm not sure what that means as to the End of History Illusion.
I would actually hope that the next 10 years will have more changes than the last, but I'm afraid that is unlikely unless I change values, which I don't want to happen.  Maybe that is the key.

Breadfruit

The grocery store had a tasting of breadfruit a few weeks ago.  I overheard the produce manager telling one of the employees to take a few breadfruit to do a tasting.  Having never had the chance to try breadfruit, I was intrigued and hoped it would be out by the time I was done shopping.  The employee, an older thin woman, took a few breadfruit quarters wrapped in cellophane to the back.  Several more wrapped breadfruit quarters were on the shelf for a few dollars a pound.

Grocery shopping is an almost intimate task.  I grocery shop at the same place on almost every Saturday morning at nearly the same time.  Not unexpectedly, many of the same employees are working on Saturday mornings, I often see the "morning huddle" near the beer cave and shudder when I think of the horror that efficiency consultants have done.
I also often see the same shoppers on Saturday morning.  These are obviously people who have a similar Weekend ritual to mine.  There is the tubby man in scrubs who I presume is shopping after working at the local hospital.  If he gets there before I do he often buys all the reduced price deli pizzas.  There is the woman with short grey hair and glasses; we see each other so frequently that we often smile and say, "Good Morning."  There is the granola woman I see in the produce department, but nowhere else.  There is the guy that I've decided I probably hate, even though I've never talked with him.  I don't have a reason to dislike him, but I'll find one.  There  are many other nameless people I nod hello to or recognize when I see them.
The grocery store is also a very awkward place to have a conversation with someone.  On my most recent grocery shopping trip, I saw a woman I used to work with and we talked for quite some time about our respective jobs and oddly, guns.  As we parted ways, I was dreading the idea that we might now meet several more times through the aisles as we worked our way through the store.  There is no good social protocol for these situations.  Do we ignore each other?  Do we nod politely?  Do we try to continue the conversation.  Sometimes when I see people I know in the grocery store, I pretend I do not see them for this reason; if we run into each other later in an aisle, we can nod hello or talk without the awkwardness of the recent conversation that was appropriately ended.

I typically like the free trials that grocery stores put out.  I've never been to Costco, but I understand they often have many of these and I heard of one person at work who will go there, walk through the store and never buy anything, but use the free samples as an inexpensive lunch out.  I find this odd since he is a manager at a level significantly above me.  Free lunch meetings at work do nothing to entice me to come since food stability is not something I worry about.  I make enough to pay for my own lunch.

While I often try them, I also find the store free food trials a bit creepy sometimes.  The great unwashed masses, using the same plastic knife to dip into the same plastic container of crab dip shedding who-knows-what into the tepid frappe.   I'm glad the way I live my life has allowed me to develop a strong immune system - I sometimes go back for seconds.
"This stew's aweful good." -Delmar O'Donnell
"You think so?  I slaughtered this horse last Tuesday. I think it's startin' to turn." -Washington Hogwallop
I'm goin' to R-U-N-N O-F-T!

By the time I was nearly done grocery shopping, the older thin produce employee had returned from the back with a tray of cut-up breadfruit and a tin of toothpicks.  I meandered over and tried a cube.  It was terrible.  Stalky.  Woody.  Bland.  Difficult to chew and nearly impossible to swallow.  Despite copious chewing, it felt like it was permanently lodged in my throat.  A few of the woman's fellow employees were also trying to eat it with the same difficulties.  The display was very near the sushi stand and the two Asians who create the sushi came over.  I've long suspected they were not Japanese, but more likely Malaysian.  In broken English, they informed us ignorant fools that only a small yellow part of the fruit can be eaten.  I found this very odd since the fruit is very large and I believe it is a staple in Polynesian areas.  How can so much of a staple be inedible?  How can they sell this for a couple bucks a pound and only have 3% of it be edible?
I've since learned that breadfruit is supposed to be cooked and eaten more like a vegetable, often mashed.  Had the Malaysian Sushi Chefs had better English, they might have told us that.  Or, possibly they saw so much humor in our trying to eat it as we were that they couldn't stammer it out, and resorted to their own language.  We may have deserved it, the produce manager definitely did.  I doubt there was very much breadfruit sold as a result of the trial.

Breadfruit looks a lot like durain.  I've only seen durian in the crazy international grocery store around 25 miles from home.  I used to go there for their beer selection, but always walked through the produce section just to see what was there (and the seafood section as well).  I saw durian there many times.  Durian looks like it can slay other fruit and I've heard it smells like rotten onions or diseased feet.  I'm curious how something described so vile could taste good enough to eat, let alone enjoy.  I don't suspect that it will be used for many food trial displays.

I didn't buy breadfruit and have no inclination to.  Thankfully, the small amount I did try passed through unannounced, despite being eaten uncooked.  Fellow Saturday morning shoppers, I hope things are well.