Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Esther Lederer Rule; Why I Can't Mind Vacuuming

Yesterday was day one of a 3-day weekend brought on by the Memorial Day Holiday.  I had originally planned to get some maintenance parts for my Honda ATV as I've owned it now for about five years and haven't done much maintenance on it.  Granted, it only gets used for snow plowing a few times each winter, brush hogging a couple times in the summer, and the rare buzzing around the back acreage.  Still, it is probably over due for some fluid changes and a good once over.

That original plan was changed when the day woke up bright with cool temperatures and low humidity.  It was time to paint the trim on the house.

The "new" house really isn't so new anymore.  At 16ish years old, it is still younger than the median age of a house in the area and definitely younger than any other house I've ever lived in.  But, the trim on the house was beginning to weather and there were several places where it had already been repainted or spot repainted.  This was done by the former owners, often somewhat carelessly or with color matches that were only close.  Thankfully, with a brick exterior and good build, the trim that needs painting is just around a few doors, and a porch area.  The horror standing on the tall ladder, repainting gutters on the old, very tall Victorian house is over.
I had scraped off a chip of paint to match and after getting several color squares of paint at Ace Hardware, we chose "Adobe Hut" or N-C3/N35.  This was the overall closest match to the variations of paint and fading on the existing trim.

Determined to do it right, my SO and I scraped all the old loose paint.  I scrubbed all areas to be painted with trisodim phosphate dissolved in warm water.  Prep work makes all the difference, I learned on the aforementioned Victorian.  The TSP nearly dissolved my washing rag which demonstrates the power of that inorganic material as a potent cleaner.  While not as ubiquitous as it once was in household products which degrease, it is still easy to buy in the hardware stores.
Just the cleaning made much of the trim look significantly better.  Once painted, the difference was nearly transformative.  Some areas previously painted white were repainted Adobe Hut, which also made the house look uniformly better.

It is amazing how much better paint has gotten even in my lifetime.  I've had good luck with Ace brand paint over the years.  Ace's branded paint is now Clark+Kensington.  While the name change is a bit of a marketing gimmick, the paint plus primer in one was fantastic and, given that we were covering over similar colors in most spots, worked exceedingly well.  Painting in my first house too many years ago was an exercise in multiple coats and lots of hope.  That may also have something to do with shopping by price alone (any man's fool).
I kept saying, "Adobe Hut" as I painted, only because it sounds better than "N-C3" and also makes it seem like I live in New Mexico, not the Midwest.

My mom had an unnatural tendency to post Ann Landers' advice columns around the house.  I'm not sure why it was always Ann Landers, and not Dear Abby, or any of the lesser-known female advice columnists.  There also seemed to be a lot of Family Circus which in retrospect is about as funny as a wet rock.
Advice columns are entertainment and I can't help but wonder if the letters coming in are real, or if both the letters and responses are made up to create an unnatural interest to questions that are answerable in a few words.  I'm not quite sure why so many advice columns are written under pseudonyms either.  This further questions the reality of them.

Real or not, the somewhat simplistic advice is often heedable.
A friend was recently complaining about the way his wife vacuumed (in deference to advice columns and to protect my innocence, the names here are pseudonyms).  Jack said June's banging the vacuum cleaner into things caused the very old appliance to break.  June's response was that it is impossible to vacuum without running into things.  Jack showed her it wasn't - which I found exceedingly condescending.  This brought to mind one of the Ann Landers' columns which espoused the view that if you don't like the way your significant other does something, then one of the few appropriate responses is to do it yourself; if Jack didn't like the way June vacuumed, he should have stepped up to take responsibility for vacuuming the house.
He didn't.  Perhaps unrelated, but Jack tried to fix the vacuum, rather than replace.  While potentially environmentally conscious, repairing would leave them with the same old vacuum, which according to Jack can be broken by running into the sofa.

My Dad once bought a vacuum from a door-to-door salesman.  It was too long ago to know the specifics, but I recall that being one source (of many) of friction in the house.
I'm not sure if purchasing vacuums falls under the Ann Landers' rule or not?
Door-to-door salesman seem to be a relic of the past as I don't remember the last time someone has rang my doorbell to sell me something.  Or, perhaps the last remaining dodos stay in the more populated areas, rather than try to ply their wares to people who live in an Adobe Hut.

It was a nearly perfect day for painting.  It got warm but not hot, and the low humidity made the paint dry quickly.
The painting of the trim on the house continued for the better part of a day.  We finished by painting together on the final garage door surround, followed by a joint reevaluation of all the painted surfaces and a few spots of minor touch-up.
Thanks Esther Lederer for the advice, real or not.  Tomorrow, I may even vacuum.

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