I hate getting older. No, that isn't quite right. I don't hate being older or getting older. I hate finding myself in an older state.
I hate worrying about things like fiber in my diet.
I hate RVs.
I hate that I work with people born in the 1980s - no, again wrong. I hate that references to Bull Shannon are met with vague confused looks, never mind any reference to It's Your Move.
I hate that my demographics make me a better target for "Just For Men" hair dye than hair gel. I don't want to use either.
I miss The Cold War and the Iron Curtain.
I hate that they make shoes with velcro straps. If I ever buy a pair, I hope someone shoots me.
I hate that I get annoyed when my hair gets longer than about an inch.
I miss drinking Pepsi out of a tall glass bottle.
I hate Clear Channel.
About two years ago I wanted to buy a cart to pull behind my 4-wheeler for yard work. Considering these are glorified wheel barrows, I found them surprisingly expensive. I saw a couple used ones on Craig's List and one great one for sale on a street I drive often on my way home from work, but this was around the time I was moving and I didn't want to have to move one more thing.
After moving, I found a Rubbermaid cart on Craig's list. It looked in pretty good shape and the price was about right so I went to look at it.
The seller was probably a little older than I was. He had developed that Paul Simon "soft in the middle" shape (I'm well on my way there). He lived in a newer suburban area. He lived in a beige house surrounded by other domiciles robed in beige, grey and off-white. He had a light-brown minivan in the driveway. There were two kids in between his and the neighbor's house with beige hair. He wore khaki pants.
I was hoping for something a little more beefy as I was having a hard time seeing this cart being pulled behind an ATV filled with rocks around my acreage. But, the price was right and I was really busy at the time. While discussing the price, the seller said, "Well, it is made by Rubbermaid so you know it's indestructible. It will last forever."
I believe in modern polymers. I own a Glock. I own two motorcycles clad in tupperware. Rubbermaid and indestructible do not belong in the same sentence.
As I was looking at this plastic cart, with its puny tilt mechanism and questionable tongue attachment, I couldn't imagine how anyone could see this as indestructible.
To be fair, I still own and use it, but I haven't used it as much as I thought I would. The axle is a little bent and I have a hard time getting the sides to securely fit. The tilt mechanism is a joke; it is easier to unhook it and tilt the whole cart. It has survived considering being pulled by and ATV is likely outside of the original design specifications.
Finding myself in an older state, I hope I never see a Rubbermaid cart as indestructible. This isn't to denigrate the beige man I bought it from. I hope he is happy.
I'll embrace the older state. Despite the tone of this post, I've got little about which to be uncontent. Nothing scares me more than moving from here to even more boring. Fade to...beige.
(and Happy Birthday Mahmoud Ahmadinejad)
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