Three Years

"While adults might gently argue – there is no monster in the closet, mommy is not going anywhere – we do not yank their blankie away.  Maybe we should.  We should take their comfort objects and destroy them, burn teddy in front of their eyes.  Because that is what happens when you grow up.  They take it away, your source of greatest comfort, and leave you...clawing at the smooth sealed box of an impenetrable mystery." – Neil Steinberg

Three years have passed now.

Early in education we learn through timelines.  These are usually represented in one dimension showing events in relation to when they occurred.

This one-dimensional view, of course, does not even come close to representing reality.  It represents at the most basic history, as Voltaire defined, "The lie agreed on."
This does represent how I saw myself when young.  Time progresses and things happen.

In order to denote progress, a second dimension is often added.  This dimension is designed to show progress in addition to merely the passing of time.  This approach may work for oversimplifying business or scientific change, but is also a limited approximation.  It also often has an agenda.
As I got older, this is how I saw the world.  Time progresses, I get older; things change in the process.

Looking back, neither one of these is remotely close to being correct.  The reality is far too complex, there is not one, two, or four dimensions to what has happened.  There are hundreds of dimensions and the timeline zigs and zags progressing and regressing.
Looking back, there is only one labyrinth path to now.  This means every decision I've made to get here, whether momentous or trivial is responsible for now.  Every decision I've made, I had to make - there was never any choice.
Looking back, I can see a fog through where I've been and how I thought I could have done something different.  But, I didn't and I can't.  I can look through the tunnel of fog and try to imagine how now might be different, but it doesn't represent reality given the inability to visualize what else would be different in all those loosely connected dimensions.  The farther back I look, the foggier it is.  It doesn't take too far back for the fog to become a completely opaque window; I am now, here.

What I can say is stopping drinking three years ago was a choice I had to make which led to where I am now.  It was only one of many choices though.  From many narratives I've read about the personal use of alcohol, three years is a time when it is not unusual for people to begin again, under the assumption that occasional drinking can return without issue.  The result is almost universally disastrous.

Other recent filial events have reinforced the notion of how terrible and unpredictable people and the future can be.

It is very tempting to put myself in the center of the universe.  Everything that happens near me affects me.
There are about 2500 people living in my township, 370,000 in my county, 11.5 million in my state, 310 million in the US.  There are a little over 7 billion people in the world.
It is never about me.