Post Script (or Outburst)

As I was thinking about Facebook and social media in general later, I recalled something I read over 10-years ago (from The Journal of Mundane Behavior - now defunct).  I'm reprinting it without commentary below; draw your own conclusions.  Hopefully there is a point.  The writing on this is too good to let it sink into oblivion.

Away Message, by Rebecca Blatt:

Before Wharton junior Jose Joseph leapt from his eighth-story bedroom window this fall, he prepared for his death. He wrote a suicide note explaining his intentions. He emailed a few friends expressing his concerns. And finally, he posted an away message on his computer.

I choked on my coffee when I read that last step in the Daily Pennsylvanian, the University of Pennsylvania's student newspaper. Why didn't he just turn off his computer or leave it running? Why did he think about his computer at all? Instead of visiting a friend or seeking professional help, why did Jose Joseph turn to his keyboard and monitor?

Theoretically, the away message is just an answering machine for a computer. It is a feature of America Online's Instant Messenger software. This program allows users to converse with each other over cyberspace. Users send Instant Messages, phrases or short sentences, which appear almost immediately on the monitor of their IM "buddy." My friends and I spend hours chatting on IM. When we must leave our computers and still wish to receive notes, we post away messages that are automatically transmitted to anyone who tries to contact us.

However, advanced Buddy List technology has revolutionized the uses and intentions of away messages. Now users can check away messages of other users without them knowing. This transformed a simple tool into a vast public forum, revolutionizing communication.

The basic away messages remain brief and practical. Phrases like, "At class but you can reach me on my cell phone," or "Away this weekend, back Sunday night," allow friends to keep track of each other. These away messages prove especially helpful when trying to arrange a meeting or a phone call.

My friend Jessica updates her away message religiously and provides detailed information about her activities. Last night her away message said, "Peeing, then eating at Chili's with Cory, then partying at Sig Ep." Why does she feel obligated to reveal every intimate detail of her evening? Should I really know when she can squeeze a trip to the bathroom into her hectic schedule?

I worry that someone could abuse this information. My parents always turn a few lights on when we leave the house so no one will know they're away. I fear that a cyber nut could easily track the movements of any individual posting such exhaustive itineraries.

In addition to inviting vulnerability, away messages can also create the appearance of elite status. Messages like, "Out for the night having a good time" translate directly to, "Nanny-nanny-boo-boo—I'm partying while you're staring at a screen!" Buddies posting messages like, "Working on a paper—don't interrupt" really mean, "Look at me—I'm being productive and you're obviously not!"

IM users sometimes post Away Messages to target a particular buddy. In most cases, this mark of prestige flatters the intended recipient. For instance, after I sent my friend Steve a homemade present he posted an away message saying, "Rebecca—you made my day." What a thank you note! He expressed his gratitude in a public forum for all of his friends to see. I beamed with pride when I realized he dedicated his only cyber-statement to me!

Sometimes IM users initiate wars with each other via away messages. This strategy allows users to not only avoid awkward face-to-face confrontations, but also bolster support from bystanders who can watch each battle unfold. When my friend Will caught his girlfriend with another guy he quoted Drew Hill and posted, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed." His girlfriend responded in Phil Collins' words, "How can you just walk away from me when all I can do is watch you leave?" The online face-off continued for days, until they finally decided to discuss the situation in person. What a disappointment for the spectators!

However, emotional revelation is not always for sport. "Having a bad day" and "Drowning in a sea of tears" often blemish my buddy list. These messages invite a reaction. They elicit sympathy and may even provoke a phone call. An IM user who posts this type of statement and receives several encouraging responses can feel reassured. In this scenario, an away message functions as a litmus test for personal worth.

Although IM users occasionally target specific buddies, they must keep in mind that they are really addressing dozens of online addicts. My buddy list contains 158 buddies, whose away messages I consult regularly. I realize they can do the same to mine. Although this extensive audience intimidates me a bit, it also provides incredible opportunities. With a few strokes of my keyboard and clicks of my mouse, I can relay a message to hundreds of friends throughout the world.

I bet when Jose Joseph sat down at his computer the night he committed suicide, he recognized the immense power at his fingertips. I bet he realized the vast audience he could address. He used his away message to expose his deepest emotions, and I bet he hoped for a response. He was trying to connect with someone when in reality he was separated by miles of fiber optic cable. As he flung himself out of his Hamilton College House single, a small window on his computer screen expressed one final statement to the ubiquity of cyberspace. In the center of his monitor in blue Times Roman font, his Away Message read, "There is no wound more deep and no ailment more dire than a broken heart."