I'm not sure why I initially started writing this blog, and I'm not sure why I continue to do so. In aggregate, it is one big non sequitur. Besides, blogs are soooooo 2002.
Five years ago, on this date, I poked around on Google's Blogger and started typing. It was a blissful time, with the newness of the new house providing an ongoing elixir. But it was also a very stressful time as the fate of the old house was a big unknown; it is amazing how transformational that move remains even after all this time. At the time I started the blog, I guess I was just looking for some kind of outlet, maybe any outlet.
The original goal of once per week was (predictably) quite optimistic. I've at least mentally pared that down to "about every other week" - with major exceptions being when other stuff, noteably vacations, takes significant time. Over the last five years, I've averaged close enough to 26 per year to be content.
The stats would suggest there is little readership, which is fine. Doing things for the self is far more important than what any kind of external validation can bring. I'm surprised how few people live this. I'm somewhat puzzled that a small number of posts have resulted in a large number of hits. I often wonder how many of these are just bots... I think monetizing the blog would overall cheapen it, take something away from the phantasmal existence. My consiracy-theory hunch is that the searchability (or findability?) of tjvbeagle.blogspot.com is affacted by search engines prioritizing monetized pages.
Still, some reviews have received numerous hits, and continue to do so.
Apparently, quite a few people want to see an oil change on a Toyota Tacoma.
There are several things I don't write about ... but I do.
Some topics are so current-time limited that care should be exercised. Cecil's death gave him a few minutes of fame that has faded very quickly. Predictably, there is no lasting change. His carcass remains rotting in a corrupt-African-government warehouse somewhere; all those good intentions and monetary donations are rotting along with it.
I need to work to live, but I don't need to dwell on it outside of work. So I never write about work?
Too much is already penned, typed, memed, etc. about politics. I don't need to contribute to this?
Some of what was written here led to bigger and better things. I never really anticipated this.
My first magazine article was published, somewhat indirectly, as a result of some thinking and pecking away at the Blogger keyboard.
On a much larger scale, my self-published book would likely have never been written if it weren't for this blog. Of course most of it was written mentally first while walking dogs.
I've committed to thinking before writing, and thinking again before hitting that terrifying "Publish" button. In addition to spelling and grammar issues that I wince at, there are some regretful posts. I've also committed to leaving them largely as they were, belated edits are rare. Do not delete the snapshots in time, no matter how ungraceful.
There are some I would probably rewrite as I don't think what I was trying to convey actually was. So it goes.
A few might be very questionable if someone, often a particular someone, might end up reading between the lines; or someone reads between the lines when they shouldn't.
A couple are regretful to the point that I have a hard time rereading them.
There are some that feature borrowed or stolen content. I love using quotes from interesting people, sometimes out of context. At least one is almost completely stolen, but oh how I wish I could find the Outburst extolling You Do Not Have a Constitutional Right to a Washing Machine. Actually, I recently did (and stole it too).
Some of what has been written is almost too personal to actually publish.
A few might be interpreted as a veiled cry for help. They probably aren't.
Some posts are so sad that I have a hard time rereading them.
Others are just too personal, but need to be written anyway.
This post is beginning to look like an 80's sit-com clip show - a cheap way to create a TV show without actually filming anything new.
And as I look over the 150 posts to date, I begin to see three themes emerging:
Much of what is written relates to Generation X, what happened to us. What is happening to us? But history is doomed to repeat itself since we pay so little attention to it the first time. The Baby Boomers and Millennials continue their love affair.
Getting older is brutally inevitable. Solidly middle class in middle age, I shudder when I look at reality. But I just about scream in terror, clawing at the dashboard of life at the thought of what could have been.
Life in the rural Midwest is wonderfully underrated. Bridging the first two themes, I can't imagine, at this stage, living anywhere else. Definitely not in the wretched overpopulated coastal ribbons. Still, sometimes I hear new places calling. Maybe New Mexico, or Oregon. Maybe Niue?
"In a faraway land called 'pre-2000,' what Earthlings now call blogging was called 'keeping a diary.' It's hard work to do well. I tried doing it in the early 1990s but had to stop because I no longer had a life - instead I had this thing that generated anecdotes to go into my diary. The diary took over and I had to stop." - Douglas Coupland
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